And The Winner Is? Beetle Bomb!

Don’t ya know the Republicans are enjoying the escalation of accusations with racial overtones between Clinton and Obama. And now Edwards weighed in on the fray, siding with Obama (John, I keep telling you Oprah has the vice presidential nod all sewn up) and calling the Clintons both racists. Things are going to get right nasty here soon. This is way too early for this level of name calling and accusations, but then this whole election process is about six months ahead of schedule as is. That leaves only Dennis Kucinich not participating in the name calling melee, who is still in the race and is counting on Nevada as his first win. Why Nevada, you ask? Because there is plenty of open space for the Mother ship to land and give him the answers to all the tough questions. Duh!

I heard that because of the level of contempt shown by the three leading Democratic candidates, security guards at the Democratic National Convention will be checking everyone for guns when the delegates file in. If a delegate doesn’t have a gun, the security guard will give him/her one. Should be a pretty good convention shaping up there. It’s no wonder their party is represented by a jackass. I am going out on a limb here, but I think the three idiots are going to kill each other or at least each other’s chance to get elected, and there will be a Republican president for the next four years. The way things are going with the Party, there may not be a Democrat in the White House during my lifetime (thank you gutless Nancy Pelosi and clueless Harry Reed).

The Republicans are making pretty good fools of themselves, too. There’s Mike Huckabee campaigning with Chuck “Texas Ranger” Norris at his side (man on the radio said the slogan for this campaign is “come for the Chuck; stay for the Huck!”). Now that’s clever. Get a movie actor to stand with and endorse you. I’m surprised no one else thought of that! Reverend Huckabee, sir, just so you know, most candidates get someone other than a “B” actor to pitch the crap for them. The people Chuck pulls in are mostly too young to vote.

Mitt Romney’s painstakingly trying to convince other right wing religious nut cases that he’s every bit as crazy as they are. What was he thinking when he was Governor of Michigan being pro choice on the abortion issue and weak on same sex marriage? He went right to the Book of Morons, er Mormons, and found all the right passages that condemned the two transgressions and now he’s on board and ready to smite the evil doers when elected in November. He’s definitely a changed (and changed again) man! What have you been smoking back there in the Tabernacle, Mitt?

Ahh, then there’s John McCain! “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran is going strong stating unequivocally that attacking Iraq was the right thing to do (John I hate to tell you but most people are against it) and that he would of done the same thing as the honorable George W. Bush. Hell, if George hadn’t attacked Iraq, McCain would have done it soon after he was elected because it was the morally right thing to do (and a good deal of manly fun!). I'm afraid you lost more than the 2000 election, John; you left your integrity and self respect behind, too! Rather than back the Iraq war to make points with the GOP right wingers, you should have stood with your friend Chuck Hagel and condemned the war for what it was when you learned of the lies and deceptions that were used to justify it.

We could elect Rudy Giuliani. He’s definitely the one in the race who hasn’t proclaimed his moral superiority like the other candidates. I like a man who’s moral superiority doesn’t get in his way. He is pro choice and soft on condemning homosexuality. Although, to somewhat appease the Religious Right puppeteers of the Republican Party (a.k.a. the American Taliban), Rudy did declare that he did not consider it sinful to be a homosexual but practicing homosexuality was an abomination! (Notice posted on school bulletin board: Band practice in gymnasium at 4:30. Homosexual practice in priest house at 6:30 – bring toothbrush and your own holy water). He must be taking lessons from Romney on how to keep his feet firmly planted on both sides of the fence.

Let me just mention two more losers in the campaign. Fred (what’s all this talk about erections!) Thompson who is running on the strength of his record as the N.Y. District Attorney. Fred, maybe you can get with Chuck Norris after Huckabee withdraws from the race and the two of you could revive Vaudeville. And last but how could he be considered least within such a field of competitors, is Ron Paul. He could never get elected – he has two first names. The idiots in Florida, Ohio and most of the other Red states, would be looking for a last name and, not finding one, would vote for Hillary because she’s the only other candidate on the ballot. Now, he might carry California and New York because they would think they were voting for RuPaul who may only have a last name (I'm not sure).

Oh well, every election year I think it can’t get much worse and it does! I honestly think Hillary Clinton or Barrack Obama would be a good president but they’ll kill each other trying for the nomination and that leaves nothing but losers. Well, that’s not exactly fair. I think Rudy Giuliani would also make a good president if he could stop being too concerned with pleasing old white men in the Religious Right and not sacrifice his integrity, self respect and ability to make his own decisions.

As I asked once before, does anyone know all the verses to Kumbayah? If so, could you lead us in song? Good luck to us all, my fellow Americans.